Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Memory Keeper

Meisyn brings up conversations with me that throw me scampering for answers.  Sometimes when I begin the conversation it takes me a while to find out the WHY.  This week it was:

Meisyn: Mom, where does my Ipod go when I die?
Mom: Um, well, I guess you can decide who you want to give it to. Maybe you could give it to Jaeya.
Meisyn: No, I will need it. Make sure you put it in my box (casket) and don't forget the charger
Mom: Do you really think you will need an Ipod in heaven Meis?
Meisyn: Yes, I love my Ipod. I will need it. Don't forget. Put the charger in my purple sparkly box (casket) too.
Mom: ??????

 This conversation was just as natural as, "What should I pack to go visit Grandma.?". Later Meisyn was talking again about her magic Make A Wish key and I said, "Jaeya and Lan are so excited for your wish, but I think maybe just a tiny bit jealous of all the things you get." Both girls nodded and admitted they are a tiny bit jealous. Meisyn wrapped her arms around Jaeya and said, "Oh sorry! You can have my Ipod.... AFTER I die then." The girls were then on to another conversation. 

Yesterday, the Ipod conversation continued as Meisyn was once again scanning the picture gallery on her treasured device.   She takes pictures of people and things she really loves. She is very picky about what she chooses. Lately she has begun to label the pictures. I assumed it was her delight in learning how to spell.

Meiysn:  Mom, I decided not to give my Ipod to Jaeya after I die.
Mom:  Its your Ipod.  You can decide what to do with it.  But, Meis, why will you need it?  
Meisyn:  So I can remember.
Mom:  Remember?  Remember what Meis?
Meisyn: Remember what you look like.  Remember to everything my special.
Mom:  Meisyn, you will remember everything!  You will remember all your life from when you were a baby.  About all of China.  About our family.  You will take every memory with you.
Meisyn:  Really??  Really, really?  But I get a new sparkly body.  My remembers will stay with my old broken body.
Mom:  BAM!!  REALIZATION.  Light bulb moment.  OH DEAR MERCY!! Meisyn believed she would lose her memories.  She needed her Ipod to teach her new body, her new memory, who we were. She wants to hold all the treasures she wanted to remember and take with her.  She has been labeling them all IN HER IPOD so she knew what they were and why they were special.  

Oh my dear, sweet girl.  You will remember.  You will take it all but if you need your Ipod to make sure you don't forget, it will go with you in your purple sparkly box.  Treasures such as you have gathered now mean so very much more as I finally understand.  You are making sure you remember who YOU WERE.  Who we ARE.  We will not forget.  EVER.  EVER.  


  1. this is so full of emotion and wishing I had the words that would make it right or something I am struggling for a way to help

  2. I just can't read that without crying. Bless her precious heart, and God be with you Stephani as you try to comfort her while in the midst of your own pain.
    You're constantly in my prayers. Much Love ♥

  3. Bless her. It's wonderful that she has a family and has so much to treasure. Wishing you all strength and peace.